Sunday, May 12, 2013

Six Reasons Why I Want to Stop Spanking

6.) It really doesn't work. Like time-out, there is usually a strong reaction. The child calms down. He goes back to his normal self. He does something else. The cycle repeats the next hour with him needing to be disciplined again. Since he keeps doing things that require discipline, I'm led to believe that his 2 1/2 year old brain is not currently ready for logic. He is too caught up in THIS moment, where this is fun, interesting, new, etc. Piaget calls this the preoperational stage. A 2 1/2 year old is egocentric, and logic is not his strong suit. "How will Mom feel if I do this?" requires a thought process that his brain is not physically capable of yet. He is not doing things to upset me; he is doing them to explore.
5.) I shouldn't take out my lack of research on my child. There are a 1000 ways to discipline. I need to be creative with this (and resourceful) just as I am with every other aspect of my life. As a graduate student, I have access to 100s of peer-reviewed academic journals on children and education. I can and should utilize them.
4.) I am in the business of making him feel better when boo-boo's happen. Why would I inflict pain?
3.) Does spanking a child because he hit you or hit the dog make sense? I am trying to teach you (the child) NOT to hit, so I hit you? Really?
2.) I didn't enjoy it as a child. My feelings were hurt. It made me fear my mother. It made me resent my mother.
1.) I don't like how it makes me feel. I feel guilty long past his tears drying up and him returning to his playful, happy self. If it doesn't feel right as with anything parenting-related, I'm going to try something else.

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